Why are we still embarrassed to talk about masturbation? Like eating or breathing, sexual urges are a natural part of our biology, and by telling our children otherwise, we can set them up for a lifetime of sexual shame. I remember the first time I discovered masturbation; I was only 9 years old. I had a sudden desire to see what the bathtub water from the faucet would feel like on my vulva — and I experienced a pleasant surprise. When did the shame surrounding masturbation begin? Some of us learned it at church or through our parents, others through social encounters or mainstream media. Regardless of its origins in each of our life stories, this stigma has a long-lasting psychologically damaging effect that teaches children to be ashamed of their desire and their bodies, which can lead to sexual issues or depression down the line. It is critical that children experience shame-free connections to their own bodies, so they can become attuned to sensations that feel positive and pleasing as well as those that do not.
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Last Updated: October 4, References Approved. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. In this case, several readers have written to tell us that this article was helpful to them, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed , times. Learn more Talking to your teen about masturbation can feel awkward, and it's likely that you're dreading it. Chances are, your teen isn't too excited to talk about it either.
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Now I understand that masturbation is totally normal teenage boy behavior. My question is how often do teens masturbate and should I talk to him about it? Can you please give me some guidance?